Not Nearly So Romantic
by boredomkillz
Summary: Hayner is frustrated and worried about Roxas' weird behaviour lately. Seifer decides to tease him a little. Seiner, if you squint just slightly. Oneshot.


Title- Not Nearly So Romantic  
Disclaimer- _Kingdom Hearts (II)_ © to Squeenix and Tetsuya Nomura  
Warnings- Strong cursing and implied yaoi, or whatever you want to call it. (Read- male homosexual situations). If you don't like any of that, then please don't read.  
The rest, enjoy!

* * *

It was totally silent on the train back to Central Station.

Hayner knew he was being an asshole, but he couldn't help it. Something had been off about Roxas for the last week. It worried him. His friend would totally blank out, and the conversation would continue right around him. He kept mentioning things that weren't there. Olette said it might be hallucinations brought on by stress, but then what would he be stressing over? They were on summer vacation, for chrissakes!

Really, he was worried. He didn't mean to be a dick, but that's how it was coming across. Roxas going for the tracks back at Sunset Station had been the last straw. He could have been seriously hurt. 'Let's go in!' is what he had said. Hayner snuck a glance at Roxas. He was hunched over, staring at the floor. Go in what? What was Roxas seeing? It didn't make any sense.

Was his best friend going crazy?

_"The train will be arriving at Central Station soon. Please be sure all passengers have their belongings, as we will not be held responsible for lost or damaged items. Thank you and have a nice day."_

Hayner could feel the train start to slow down. He stood up next to the door, eager to be away and able to think. A soft touch on his wrist made him jerk. Olette had stood up, too.

"Sorry," she whispered.

"No, it's fine." He muttered. "You just surprised me."

"Hey… sometime, could we talk about…Roxas?"

He nodded his head slightly. "Yeah, that would be good."

So apparently Olette had noticed too, huh? Well, good. It would suck if your best friends hadn't noticed you were slowly but surely losing every bit of your sanity. He wondered idly if Roxas had seriously considered what was happening to him.

The train ground down to a slow crawl and then a halt, making Hayner sway a little. The doors slid open and he hurried onto the platform. Checking once to be sure everyone had followed him off—mostly checking for Roxas's scatterbrained sake—he led the way to the Station doors.

He breathed a sigh of relief once back in his part of town.

"Let's go home and work on the paper."

"'The rumors were bogus. The end.'" Pence suggested sarcastically.

"We can still make it sound good if we write about all the work we did," Olette said, never failing to find a bright spot.

Hayner snuck a glance at Pence, grinning. He liked his suggestion best. Short and bitter. He gave him a thumbs-up and Pence returned the grin. The computer-savvy teen looked much more mischievous than he let on to anyone else. Most people thought he wasn't a troublemaker, but they didn't know everything, now did they?

"But what about the last one—the seventh wonder?" Roxas wondered aloud.

"Who _cares_?" he snapped. Roxas should go home and rest. He already nearly killed himself today. There was no way Hayner was going to just prance on down to the Mansion with him.

"I do," he said firmly. "C'mon, Pence."

Fine. If he was going to stubbornly go to the stupid Mansion and take Pence with him, then he could. Fine! "Whatever," he mumbled and set off across the plaza and down the hill to cool down.

A few short, sweet, blissful seconds of only the noise of the town greeted his ears. And then he heard running footsteps behind him.

"Hayner!"

He stopped, and jammed his hands into his pockets. "What?"

Pence and Olette circled around to his front.

"Dude, Hayner. What's got you in a bad mood?" Pence seemed genuinely concerned.

"It's nothing, all right? Just… leave me alone."

He trudged off, hoping he could finally have some time to himself.

He found himself in front of the board advertising different jobs, but he wasn't really reading that at all—his ears had pricked up at Olette's and Pence's conversation.

"What's got him so ticked?" That was Pence.

"Oh, I don't know…. maybe he's still mad about the Struggle tournament?"

Pence made a dismissive noise. "No, I think it's Roxas."

Olette said something quieter, too quiet for Hayner to hear in reply.

"Yeah, I mean who wouldn't? He's been really weird."

"…ink…cinations. ….you think?"

"It's possible. But sudden schizophrenia developing is kinda rare, isn't it?"

"..on't… Re…it..ater?"

"Yeah, definitely." Pence's voice was grim.

Something else filtered through his friends' conversation and the noise of the town. Wheels. He turned his head to catch the sight of Roxas speeding down the hill on a skateboard. Hayner frowned. _So the idiot had been serious about going off on his own._

He huffed and stamped the ball of his foot in the ground. He was feeling twitchy, now, on top of all the irritation. He could really use to loose some energy. It was like walking all over Sunset Hill hadn't tired him at all.

"Hayner?"

He turned and frowned at Olette. "What?"

"Pence wanted me to keep an eye on you."

"_Pence wanted_-" he stopped and spluttered for a few more seconds, making wild but vague gestures in the air.

"We don't want you to do anything stupid."

His eyes narrowed. "'Lette, it's not been a good day. Roxas almost killed himself, in case you didn't notice. _I'm_ not the one who's suicidal. So with all due respect, leave me alone." He walked off before Olette could somehow get him to sit and talk to him. She was very good about talking about nothing, but making Hayner calm down.

But right now he didn't want to calm down. He was so _angry._ His best friend was going insane, his best friend was seeing shit, his best friend didn't even know he was suicidal, his best friend was being reclusive and not telling them _anything._ Where the hell was Roxas?

"Where's he gone?" Hayner murmured. He kicked a rock and watched it skitter across the ground, coming to a halt at… boots.

He glanced around him and recognized the rest of the ground as the area around the Sandlot. Hayner swallowed and slowly raised his brown eyes to meet piercing blue, ones that never failed to pin him in place or set him in motion.

Seifer's mouth was tilted at that infuriating smirk and Hayner's patience was at about negative 9001. His dumbass remarks wouldn't help it much.

"Where's your geek squad, lamer?"

"Minding their own fucking business, unlike you, asshole." He was about to turn, ready to get out of here and maybe shoot some stupid darts, but Seifer's voice called him back.

"Chickenwuss."

"What." The tone wasn't a question, it was more of a demand. Seifer's mouth twitched.

"What's wrong with blondie? I don't piss him off like I used to."

_Even _Seifer_ had noticed? This wasn't cool._ "The fuck do you care? He's just a fucking lamer like me, right?"

Seifer glared and took the steps needed to close the distance between them. "That's right, chickenwuss, he is a lamer. You are a lamer. And you're so goddamn lame you can't even figure out why I'm asking."

"It's not in my nature to figure out douchebags."

Seifer's eye twitched. Hayner's fingers were moving into slight fists and back to relaxed. "Well, smartass, I'll just tell you: it's no fun for the predator if the prey has lost its mind."

Hayner snapped. Seifer would not insult his friends like that. His fist swung up and hit Seifer in the chest. Seifer grabbed his arm before he could pull back to swing again and clocked him in the face. Holding a hand to his nose, which was bleeding, but hopefully not broken, Hayner reflected for a quick, fleeting moment on whether or not this was smart. And then he decided to stick to what he always did which was act first, think later and he charged right into Seifer, knocking him to the ground.

He hit anywhere he could, more often than not Seifer blocking him or trading a punch for a punch. When his lips was busted and one of Seifer's eyes had closed—a sure shiner later—the thug hit him in the stomach, and he doubled over, coughing. Seifer shoved him off and kicked him once before he sat down, panting.

Hayner waited until his breath was under control before he sat up, which wasn't such a good idea, because the moment he did, he felt like he needed to puke.

He didn't, but he did sway for a few moments.

"Feel better, lamer?"

He snorted. "Oh, yeah. Seeing your ugly mug always makes me ecstatic."

"Who wouldn't be ecstatic?"

He snorted again, but didn't say anything. Seifer didn't say anything either. If they weren't enemies, Hayner might have called it 'companionable silence' but they weren't, so he wasn't sure what this was. It didn't feel particularly awkward, though. Well, not anymore awkward than the fact that he was within three feet of Seifer and didn't feel like he need to cut his face off, and Seifer didn't look like he needed to murder somebody.

So, yeah, it might have been companionable.

He sighed.

"You got a twist in your jockies?"

He glowered at Seifer. "No, just… Roxas went off to the Mansion on his own."

Seifer smirked. "You upset we're not having our date, lamer?"

Hayner's stomach twisted and he huffed. "No, asshole, I'm just worried he's gonna do something stupid like try to break in."

Seifer shrugged. "I thought that's why you asked for my help, because you idiots don't know anything worthwhile"

"Not just that, jerkoff. He might get hurt."

He shrugged again. "So, what are you? His boyfriend? Blondie can handle it on his own."

"No, he can't! He's been blanking out all the time and he keeps, he-" Hayner stopped, realizing he'd been about to tell Seifer just how messed up Roxas was. What kind of weird situation was this? He was _confiding_ in the asshole?

Seifer was quiet for a moment, and then he leaned in closer to Hayner and sneered. "You make it sound like you've got a crush on Blondie."

Hayner felt heat rise to his cheeks, but glared all the same. "No. Roxas is my best friend. And y'know most people would have asked if I was his mother or something. Is your brain full of rainbows and sparkles and Edward Cullen?"

Seifer's eyebrow quirked. "No, because I haven't read _Twilight_. If you did, you're a fag." He looked at Hayner closely for a reaction and Hayner gave him a 'yeah, right' look. He didn't know how well he pulled it off, but he had to save face because—_goddamnit!_-Olette had made him read that shit.

The thug shrugged again and leaned back. "Well, whatever. And you know, you being his mother wouldn't be nearly so romantic, would it?"

Hayner's mouth fell open. There was that phrase again, the same words he'd said yesterday. He still didn't have any better of an idea whether he meant the hypothetical situation or if it was reality, or if he meant Roxas and Hayner or if he meant—oh, god forbid—Hayner and Seifer. It was just too vague to figure out and it pissed him off.

Seifer kicked him. "Look, I know I'm hot, but that doesn't give you permission to fucking stare at me, chickenwuss."

Hayner flushed angrily. "Who's staring?" He hopped up and raised his fists threateningly. Seifer laughed and laughed.

"What's the big idea, asshole?"

"Jesus, chickenwuss. You're so easy to piss off."

Hayner growled, but recognized he wasn't going to get in another fight—which was just as well, considering his injuries. He looked down and studied Seifer for a long moment.

"_What?_"

"Why _do_ you piss me off?"

Seifer gave him a 'duh' look. "Because _you_ piss me off."

"Oh, so it's mutual, then." Word vomit. Hayner didn't even know what he was saying now, he just felt like he needed to keep the conversation going. This was probably the longest time he'd talked to Seifer before punching him, albeit the fight earlier.

"One would hope," Seifer said, and this one was a little too airy for Hayner to be sure they were talking about the same thing.

He stuffed his hands in his pockets, but brought them back out after a second. "Look, uh, thanks."

Seifer looked at him blankly. "For what?"

"Christ, you asshole. I'm saying thanks and you're asking me _why_."

"Well, _yeah_, because you're fucking illogical and I have no idea what the fuck you're thanking me for."

"Goddamnit. For agreeing to going to the mansion with me-"

"Which is off now because Roxas went today."

"—and for not beating the absolute shit out of me like you could have-"

Seifer shifted on that one, but he muttered, "Yeah, well, I take pity on the chronically stupid."

"—and for talking to me almost civilly."

"Oh, fuck civil. Jesus, lamer, are you about to propose, too, or what? I mean, what the fuck?"

Hayner felt his mouth crop up in a smile for some weird reason and he couldn't make it go away. He put it off on that he had actually made Seifer uncomfortable for once. "Nah," he said, that stupid smile still in place, "it's not nearly romantic enough."

Seifer stared at him for a long minute. Then, he stood up. "_Seriously_, what the fuck, chickenwuss?"

Hayner shrugged. "I—don't know. I don't feel so strung out anymore."

"Oh, _Jesus_. I do _not_ want to hear about-"

"And I feel a lot better, less tense. Thanks."

"_Ugh_. Quit fucking thanking me. I don't give a shit about your feelings, Hayner. Later," the thug turned on his heel and sauntered towards the exit out of the Sandlot that would lead to Tram Commons. He was halfway there when Hayner recovered.

"Seifer?"

He stopped. "_What?_"

"Did you just say my name?"

Something unreadable flickered across his face, but it cleared a moment later. "No, chickenwuss. I did not say your name. Maybe Cupid hit you with an arrow, God help us and me. Or maybe _I_ hit your head too hard."

Hayner was quiet as he eyed him, thinking maybe that if he stared enough, Seifer would finally make sense.

"Get _lost_, lamer."

"If I do, are you going to find me?" he asked with a cheeky grin. '_Word vomit_,again,' he thought.

"Ugh. That's _too_ romantic." Seifer left the Sandlot, and Hayner left too after a moment longer, making his way back up the hilly Market Street to Central Station.

Seifer sat heavily on the bottom of the slope that led to a bridge over an underpass where real losers lurked. Scum like drug dealers (yeah, Twilight Town had some) and pedophiles (he's got long silver hair and his name rhymes with Alka Seltzer) and a bunch of worse crap. Fuu came up from somewhere—probably the higher ground—and sat next to him.

"Wuss?" she asked.

"He's bent all out of shape about Roxas being weird. Well, weirder than normal. We talked for a bit."

"Preceding violence?"

Seifer fixed her with a look. "Of course we fought, Fuu. We always fight, no matter if we talk or not."

"Severe injuries?"

He smiled. "I'm glad you're concerned, but I'm fine, and he's fine. He might have a broken nose, but it's not like he hasn't had one before."

"Confession?"

Seifer sighed. 'It's just not good timing. I can't right now."

"Soon."

"Yeah, I'll tell him sometime soon. I promise," he added when she gave him a skeptical look, "I just can't tell him right now."

"Good." Fuu nodded satisfactorily. "Sandwiches?" she jerked a thumb up the slope, probably indicated their favorite little hole-in-the-wall diner.

"You paying? I left all my munny at home."

Fuu winked and Seifer smirked.

"Alright, I'll call up Rai and we can get some food."

"Tell him?"

"About Hay—chickenwuss?" Fuu smirked at his slip, the expression fitting her small face a little too well, and Seifer blushed. "No, we're not telling Rai just yet."

"Possible blackmail." Her voice had the barest hint of lilting tease.

He looked at her hard. "You're evil."

Her smirk widened. "Many options."

He sighed. "Okay, you evil, _evil_, woman. I'll tell Rai. But only because what you might make me do scares me."

She actually laughed, and although the sound was rare coming from her, Seifer couldn't stop himself from thinking about another laugh he didn't hear often enough.

Maybe sometime soon he would.

* * *

**AN: **  
I might... uhm, change this later. Originally, I was going to go through each of the five days that Roxas is in Twilight Town (yes, five, I don't count the sixth day becausenoHaynerwhatthefuck) and have Seifer and Hayner interact on each day, etc, until the sixth day and then...  
O: Well I'm not telling you. But it would be a different feeling than this fic.

In short: you can probably expect another fic very closely related to this one sometime in the future.


End file.
